May 22 2010

ANNOUNCEMENT: There will be a huge party May 22, 2010 here at O’Shea’s Neighborhood Bar.

 

 

 It is a year away fat man.

 

Yes, thank you Captain Obvious. You really do live up to your name don’t you? I am posting this waaaaaaaay early as a “save the date kind of thing”. My wife’s birthday always seems to get lost in all the hoopla that is otherwise known as “May”. She has not said a peep about it to anyone in the past 5 years, in fact, it does not bother her.  But, it bothers me. So being the best husband ever, I am springing into action. I am planning a Fiesta at mi casa.  Laurie is probably rolling her eyes at me right now for this post, probably even objecting to it. But I say it loud and proud: You, dear reader are hereby notified of: ………….wait for it……..drum roll………..little more drums……….cymbal crash… 

 

 

With more than 11 months to plan for the fiesta at mi casa, I pray…nay…implore you to save the date.  So, what is the plan for mandatory family fun?

Here is the plan my friends:

Party will be Saturday, rain or shine. As you all know, I am working very hard on the bar and it will be done by then, so even if it is pouring rain out, party is on. Come on up Friday night, grab a hotel room. If you wish to stay at our house, let us know, arrangements can be made. I am kicking around the idea of renting an RV for the weekend so people do not have to spend a lot of money. Here is a list of the many hotels in the Pine Bush and Middletown areas:

A.	Hudson Valley Resort & Spa – http://www.hudsonvalleyresort.com – (845) 626-8888 – 99 reviews
B.	Star-Lite Motel – http://www.thestarlitemotel.com – (845) 626-7350 – 1 review
C.	Colonial Motel – http://www.colonialmotel.org – (845) 647-7575 – 1 review
D.	Continental Motel & Restaurant – http://www.ny-motels-review.com – (845) 626-4000 – More
E.	Maybrook Lodge – http://www.ny-lodges-review.com – (845) 626-9823 – 1 review
F.	Chelsea Motel – http://www.ny-motels-review.com – (845) 626-3551 – 1 review
G.	Bentley’s American Grill – maps.google.com – (845) 626-2585 – More
H.	Minnewaska Lodge– http://www.minnewaskalodge.com – (845) 255-1110 – 73 reviews
I.	Nevele Grande Hotel – http://www.nevele.com – (845) 647-6000 – 206 reviews
J.	Shanley Hotel – http://www.shanleyhotel.com – (845) 210-4267 – 1 review

  

 

They can come up Saturday if they want, we do live in a free country.

 

Whatever floats their boat; whatever works for their particular families, at that particular point in time for their particular personalities.

 

I hate you.

 

My two cents: wouldn’t it be much more betta if you came up Friday night and not have to worry about being stuck in traffic? You’ll be able to unwind from your journey with a good night’s sleep? Get up, have some breakfast, then come to the house Saturday afternoon with a smile on your face ready to: {in your best Lionel Ritchie voice}

 

Raise the roof and have some fun
Throw away the work to be done
and Let the music play on
(Play on, play on)
Eveyrbody sing, everybody dance
Lose yourself in wild romance
We’re going to party
Karamu……… fiesta……. forever
There will be Blue Moon beer on tap, bottled Corona, bottled Heineken, fine liquors for mixed drinks, frozen margaritas, hamburgers & hot dogs, sodas, popcorn machine, fireworks (maybe), and probably a bounce house and face painting for the kids.

 

            Did I just read Fireworks?

            Yes.

            Could you explain?

            I sure can. Stay tuned to the blog.

            I hate you.

            I know.

 Taxi cab rides will be available to get you back to your hotel for those who will be unable find their car parked outside somewhere in the yard. You read that right: a taxi. Why? Simple. I do not want anyone uttering the phrase: “oh I can’t drink because I have to drive numbnuts back to the hotel.” I do not want anyone getting into an accident, getting killed, kill someone else, ride over my grass, hit my well, hit a boulder, hit another parked car, crash into my new trees, crash through my fence, run over Sierra, drive into the woods, or get arrested. On second thought, driving into the woods would be funny. But I digress.

 

            But cab rides cost money.

            Yes they do. Thank you Captain Obvious.

            Who is gonna pay for it?

 

            Me.

 

            You?

 

I really do not know how to make that statement any clearer. Let me try again……Me. Is that mo’ better?

 

I hate you.

 

As bald as Captain Obvious is, he is right. It would be quite a hit to the ‘ol pocketbook to pay for all those cab rides. What I am thinking is this: I will leave out a jar, a bottle, a box, some sort of device capable of holding coins and foldable money. Everyone can deposit a comfortable amount into it; be it a twenty, a ten, a five, a single, a nickel, a dime, a penny, or any combination of U.S. currency they so desire. The amount will be only known to them.  Hopefully, it will be a value they feel at ease with. I hope there will be enough money in the jar/box/thingy to pay for the cab rides. If not, I’ll foot the bill. I have about a year to sock some money away, so it’ll be cool.

 

 What if there is more than enough?

 

I keep it. It’ll help pay for the alcohol, ice, fireworks, jump house, RV, etc.

 

What about those who do not drink and do not wish to pay for other people’s taxi cab rides?”

 

That person sucks and all of their funny stories suck. They are boring, non party people.

You’re kind of a dick.

 

Of course, I am kidding. As much as it pains me to say it again: Captain Obvious is correct. Why should someone who does not drink (we have many non drinkers in the family) pay for other’s cab rides? I happen to agree. Here a few ways to help justify throwing some US Currency into the jar/box/thingy:

 

• If you don’t throw money in, the terrorists win.
• You are helping to pay for the soda, popcorn, bounce house, fireworks, the RV etc.
• You realize all the hard work and preparation goes into a party, so toss in a buck or two
• You realize just how awesome I am
• No purchase necessary
• Results not typical
• One per household
• Limited Time only
• Apply only to affected area
• May be too intense for some viewers
• If condition persists, consult your physician.
• Simulated picture
• Sanitized for your protection
• No anchovies unless otherwise specified
• Put some money into the jar/box/thingy and party on guilt free.

 

I hope the above lists helps. All joking aside, if one does not wish to contribute, than so be it, no one will know but them. Rest well cheapskate.

Moving on.

 

Thank God.

 

We will also have some sort of food spread and good music. Speaking of music, bring your I pod so we can plug it in and listen to your music library.  If you want to invite people, just let me know.

 

Guests can invite whoever they want fat man.

 I am not so sure that one is obvious, Capt. I think it sort of needs to be said. So here it goes: Yes, yes they can. I just need to know for a semi-accurate headcount. Need to get an idea of how much beer to have on hand, as well how many pounds of ice, how much, soda, how many limes, how many lemons, etc. I bet Capt. Obvious did not know the rule of thumb is 1 pound of ice per guest?

 No, I did not know that.

 You did not know it because it isn’t all that obvious. Say for example, Laurie wants to invite some of her peeps from work or Aunt Cindy and Uncle Louie wish to invite some of their friends or Eugene wants to invite some hot senorita he met on the train or Uncle David wants to invite Chuckie and Walkie or Ghetto Supa Star Keith wants to invite a few of his Boston College peeps? I would need to apply the number of friends they plan to invite to the ice poundage, liquor amount, beer amount, food amount,  etc etc. Another reason is comfort. What if everyone invited 5 people? It adds up quickly….need to gauge the amount of people to fit into the bar without stepping on one another. 

Right, it could rain and all of us would be inside. 60 people in that room would be squishy.

 Thank you once again Captain Obvious. You are a big help.

Let us take a moment to discuss gifts. It is always one of those issues of trepidation. Should I bring a gift? Do I have to? How much should I spend? How much do I hafta spend? What the hell does Laurie need / want? Let me break it down while keepin’ it real yo:

 Before you break it down for the people know this: Your guests spending money on a hotel room, gas, tolls, and the cab ride fund-raiser jar/box/thingy is their gift fat man.

  Bring a gift. Don’t be cheap. You have a year to scrimp and save.  

 Nothing expensive, keep it simple! Anything from this website is cool ‘mo dee:  Bird Feeder Stuff.  Still not sure? Contact me personally closer to the date and I will be more than happy to hook you up with some ideas.

I hope you can make it. I think it will be a fun happening good time.

 

Remember, May 22, 2010 Laurie’s birthday. Free Beer. Free Food. Free Fireworks show. Be there.

 

                                                         

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