Come With Me to a Chinese Wedding

On Saturday night my lovely wife and I headed into Chinatown to attend my friend Mike W.’s wedding reception. Why just the reception you ponder to yourself? I shall tell you….he got married at city hall about a year ago and had his reception about a year later. Why? I do not know, he is Chinese and very secretive. 

Around 5:30 pm, we arrived at the Golden Unicorn Restaurant. Here is the street it is located on:  

Looking down the street towards the Manhattan Bridge

And then turn to your left and there is Cathay Bank…I mean the Golden Unicorn…above the bank:  

Cathay is being mounted by a Golden Unicorn

From their website, much more betterer picture.

So we go into the door and head up to the second floor and immediately realize we are about half hour early. Oops. We must have mis-read the information on the non existent invitation. So, what do you do when you are early?  Start drinking heavily. We attacked the bar like Lindsay Lohan attacks a line of coke and by bar I mean a stainless steel cart with bottles of Corona and Heinken on ice and…. well that’s it. No cocktails for you. We found our way to our table, right in the back  closest to the kitchen far enough not to do any harm. I think they have heard how rowdy the Irish and Italians get at these functions. Silly round-eyes.   The gold in the room was…alot to take in. One needs muiltiple visits to appreciate the contrast of gold on red and then therapy to forget it. My eyes still burn.  

There's gold in there them hills!

See..our table waaay in the back

Truth be told I would have stuck us back there too. We can be a bit rowdy. OK, onto the funstuff.  

 Still with me? Can you still see after being assaulted by the color gold? Onward…  

Ladies and Gentlemen, me dear and loyal readers I present The Menu:  

  

This is where my wife tapped out. She actually tapped out when the color gold overloaded her brain and she almost had a seizure. But she soldiered on until she read the menu and almost hailed a cab to meet some of our friends out at a different bar. I told her she had to experience different cultures and she told me I will be sleeping outside with Sierra.  

First course was served in a metal can and was awesome. All of us ate each one of our cans and we considered commiting Robbery and forcefully removing potato chips from the other guests. Cooler heads prevailed and we downed more Corona awaiting the next course.  

Appetizer

conch and scallop in birds nest

shark fin and chopped chicken

Chicken Head on the plate

Lobster Head and Chicken Head on a plate

Tony C plays with chicken head and lobster head. Why? Why not?

 My single buddy, Mike R caught the garter. Correction, the garter was thrown at him. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it.  So he did a little sexy dance for one of the bridesmaids and he now has a bright future at Scores.  

   

Mike R caught the garter and the attention of some cameras.

The following  trick the DJ played on the groom and was actually quite funny.  Guests lined up across from each other and held red string that the groom had to go under in order to get to his bride. It Look very hard as the strings were very low and then after the groom was blindfolded, they removed the strings! It was very funny watching him slither across the dance floor to get to his new wife.  

   

Mike W crawls on the floor, while many pictures are taken. Many...like alot.

They had a scavenger hunt where it boys vs. girls. The DJ wanted everyone to find: 3 pairs of white socks 10 Hieniken bottle caps (easy), 10 lipsticks and 9 drivers licenes. (3 NY, 3 NJ, and 3 out of state)..that last one was kind of hard. Us men lost. I think it was fixed! As a rewarde the ladies got to fill a bowl with anything they wanted and we had to drink it. Thank goodness they had mercy on the boys and filled it with red wine and Heinikens. It was not half bad actually, they might be on to something.  

We might have left hungry and a bit nauseous, but we did have a good time!  

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21 Comments on “Come With Me to a Chinese Wedding”

  1. Great read! I want you to follow up to this topic!!! and I have a small penis!

    Young

    Like

    • O'Shea Shenanigans says:

      And I want you to stop advertising your shitty insurance on my blog. And what topic do you speak of? The chicken head on a stick?

      Like


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