Police Jargon

Keeping the steretype alive

Keeping the stereotype alive

How many of you watch CSI? I have to tell you that show is on my list of worst shows. As a cop I find it amazing how forensic reports come back quickly, every witness wants to co-operate, nay..desires to co-operate with the police, no language barrier. 

"What the hell is a Language Barrier!?"

Glad you asked Captain Obvious…It is police jargon for:” I don’t freakin’ understand this guy.”  Here is a list of more jargon:

Language Barrier:

“Central, wait for the description of the perp, there is a language barrier”

A victim was robbed, probably hurt and bleeding. The Asian victim can not tell us anything that happened. Perps pick on them because they know the language barrier factor. By the time we get an interpretor over to the scene, perp is long gone.

EDP: Emotionally Disturbed Person.

“This guy is an EDP.” or “There is an EDP barricaded in his bathroom with a firearm.” 

You may have seen them on your streets too. They are the ones talking to themselves, preaching to an audience that isn’t there.  This term works at home or in the office, you’ll love it: “My boss is a freakin’ EDP, he wants me to work on Saturday.” See? it works.

Three Eyed Fish: “This perp is a 3 eyed fish.”

 The three eyed fish is the perp to avoid at all costs. Not only is he or she an EDP, but they have some sort of ailment which needs attention. Anything to delay the process of going to jail. The medical attention usually consists of free medication that needs to be given compliments of you, the taxpayer. It involves a trip to Bellevue then sitting in the waiting room for 7 hours waiting for the nice doctor to look at the perp, declare them a three eyed fish and give them the much needed methadone. As a bonus the three eyed fish also has lice and smells like Fulton Fish Market at low tide.

Methodonian -or- Junkies:  As kid rock sang:” And all my heros at the methodon clinic.”

 These people are found hanging outside any Methadon clinic at 5am waiting for their fix. Their fix of what? Methadon. It is a drug used to help addicts become less addicted to Herion or any other opioids they may have come to know and love. Interesting how they can not get up for a job, but everyday at 5am same faces outside the Methadone Clinic. Maybe you have seen them around your neighborhood too.? Skin like leather, new shoes, always new shoes, and talk so loud, so damn loud about nonsense. Oh and they know everything.

“That EDP Methadonian is a three-eyed fish.” See? You’re catching on.

Lost Time:  I am not sure where this term came from, or even 100% of it’s meaning. Basicly, when you do overtime you have a choice. Take the hours in “Time” or “Cash”.  Cash is well…um..cash. Time is rated at time and half. So if I am scheduled to work 8 hours but work 10, (2 hours OT) I bank 3.5 hours in time.  Nice right? So, if I want to use that time, like leave two hours early, I ask to take “Lost Time”.

RDO: Regular Day Off

Meal: Corporate America refers to this time as “lunch”. We call it meal because it could be breakfast, lunch, dinner, or whatever you call it on the midnight shift.

Bag of Sh**: “This is your bag of sh**, not mine.” That is usually said to the cop that voluntarily brought in a three eyed fish. It could also refer to a paperwork nightmare.

Due ta due(say it fastand in a sing-song fashion):  “He is a due ta due” Ditzy, airheard, moron. Adopt this one at work too. “Man, she does not know how to use a fax machine. What a due ta due.”

Hat and Shoes : “He is such a waste of space, he’s just a hat and shoes.” Picture a hat on top of shoes. Reserved for that special cop that is a due ta due.

Shakey: “That Sgt. is so shakey, you can give him a glass of milk, and two minutes later you’ll have a milkshake.”  For that boss that is so afraid to make a decision, -or- so scared of reprecussions of said decision, he or she will do everything by the book, or worse…nothing.

Whack-a-do: “That dude is a whack-a-do.” Reserved for somone crazy. Could be used to describe an EDP. “He showed up for casual friday in his pajamas! What a whack- a -do.”

Try these terms in your everday life. They are fun!.


7 Comments on “Police Jargon”

  1. Mom says:

    I have used a few of these terms, both at work and at home


  2. I despise that show by at least seven orders of magnitude. Hubby is a pathologist, and worked as an ME, so you can imagine the SCREAMING during one of those shows. In fact, I think we saw two complete episodes the first season: one episode to give it a chance, the other as a drinking game. Needless to say, we were on our fourth shots by the first ten minutes.

    Thanks so much for the jargon lesson. I shall attempt to give it a whirl 😉


  3. Steve says:

    As a cop in Canada, I will see if I can get a few of these as lingo in my office. We have other words for most of those 😀


    • O'Shea Shenanigans says:

      Sweet! I think if we share the same jargon it will bring our two nations closer together and eventually world peace. We can do it my brother!


  4. seat101 says:

    It’s funny I had to search pretty hard to find out what “lost time” means. I have a general idea but I wanted to know if it was codified I guess.


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