Email from A Complete Moron

I have several posts on craig’s list selling various household shit to raise money for the bar. Today, I received an email from a complete moron: Roger Greer. Do you know him? If you do, please kick him in the balls. I do not know who Roger Greer is or where he comes from but I hope he is stricken with testicle cancer and they only way to stop the pain in his balls is for him to bang his head against the wall non stop. Here is the email: 

Hi how are you?!

Ive seen your post on craigslist… Might thought ill drop you an
email and help you..

Do you currently have work right now? cause I know its hard to got get
a work this days but me and my sister are doing this for 4 months now
since i quit my day job..

It make my life really easy trust me. actually my step mom just
recommend this to me.

and it really helps me alot acually i already quit my day job when i
start doing this.

i like helping people but i want to help people who want to help themself.

ok so the thing that im talking about is called google kit

all i did is get the google kit and then when google send me the kit
after that week

trust me im already making 200 to 800 a day..its not that hard i cant
even believe it either. it really shock me

when i got my first check after a week I got the google kit..

thats the reason i want to help people without expecting in return.

it really change my life imagine not going to your day job every day?

and your earning more than your day job just following this easy steps?

anyway this is their page

http://googlecashprofit.info

Like I told you it already make me up to 800 a day. it really change
my life so its worth a try at least.

Just implement the steps as soon as you recieve your kit and you will
achieve this succes that everybodys looking for.

if you have questions just email me anytime..

Hope you have achieve this goal like i did.
Have a good day.. And Hope you Success

 

Here is what I wrote to Mr. Roger:

Roger,

I thought I would reply to your sales pitch. I am a little weary about offers made over the internet, never mind ones that are made from someone that pays no attention to detail whatsoever. I think before you send out your next unsolicited sales bullshit, you might want to use the spell-check. Maybe even have someone else proof read your lines of bullshit? Just a thought. I am not sure you know how to read English, you certainly can not write it, but here it goes:
Hi how are you?
I am fine and you?


Ive seen your post on craigslist… Might thought ill drop you an
email and help you..

Thanks. Do not need any help. I am offering a king size mattress for sale. How does that equate to me needing your help?

“Might thought” what the fuck does that mean??

Do you currently have work right now? cause I know its hard to got get
a work this days but me and my sister are doing this for 4 months now
since i quit my day job.

Yes, I have work right now. You suck.

“You know its hard to got get a work this days?” Are you kidding? That is your opening line. Wow.

It make my life really easy trust me. actually my step mom just
recommend this to me.

Seriously, stop killing the English language. Your sales pitch so far sucks. You are also confusing. You have been doing this for 4 months, yet your step mom just recommended this to you? What the hell?

and it really helps me alot acually i already quit my day job when i
start doing this.

The word is correctly spelled “actually”. You missed the letter “t”. Plus, your sentence is in the wrong tense. “When I started doing this” would be correct you ignorant moron.

i like helping people but i want to help people who want to help themself.

Oh for the love of God. Stop. Please.

ok so the thing that im talking about is called google kit

Does Google know you are a spokesman for them?

all i did is get the google kit and then when google send me the kit
after that week

I am sorry…what?

trust me im already making 200 to 800 a day..its not that hard i cant
even believe it either. it really shock me

Trust you? With what?  “It really shock me” Oh jesus…make it stop.
when i got my first check after a week I got the google kit..

Please have someone that speaks English proof read your crap.

thats the reason i want to help people without expecting in return.

Shithead, you never stated a reason.

it really change my life imagine not going to your day job every day?

I would not want to know what your life was like before.
and your earning more than your day job just following this easy steps?

I earn enough in my day job. Plus benefits, pension, variable supplement, medical, dental, 5 weeks vacation, unlimited sick.

anyway this is their page

Almost correct.

Like I told you it already make me up to 800 a day. it really change
my life so its worth a try at least.

Please shut up.

Just implement the steps as soon as you recieve your kit and you will
achieve this succes that everybodys looking for.

You spelt “success” wrong and…oh nevermind.

if you have questions just email me anytime..

Hope you have achieve this goal like i did.
Have a good day.. And Hope you Success!

“And Hope you Success” Nice. Sign me up!

 

Scary thing is, Roger Greer probably drives on the same roads as you and me.

Advertisements

9 Comments on “Email from A Complete Moron”

  1. Doug Winship says:

    You missed a critical question:
    200 to 800 WHAT?
    I’m guessing Zimbabwean Dollars….

    Like

  2. Di says:

    I think I am going to google his name and see what comes up…… i don’t think saleman will but hey stranger things have happened

    Like

  3. Di says:

    ok so he could have either
    1) put out some spiritual religious music..

    OR…..

    2)he’s one of these people…

    Like

  4. Colleen says:

    Oh my God! It just took me about 30 minutes to read (suffer through) that. My mind has big time issues processing “moronese”. I need Excedrin now!

    Like

  5. jennifer says:

    is “spelt” a type of fish?

    Like

    • oshea12566 says:

      I don’t know, probably. Sounds like a good name for a fish. I can hear myself ordering that: “I’ll have the “Spelt” please…with soya sauce and roasted almonds. Thanks.”
      Yeah, see that sounds normal. If “spelt” is not a fish, it damn well should be.

      Like


A good bartender always listens....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s