Pictoral History of the Mighty SepticPosted: August 19, 2009
What the hell are you doing with a tractor?, Why is it orange? What will you do with a tractor? or You’ll shoot your eye out kid!
Here is the story:
One day while raking leaves, I stepped on a white pipe. I thought to myself: “That’s peculiar…” Now, I do not know much about the engineering and design of a good septic system, but I am willing to bet that criss-crossed pipe sticking out of the ground is not in the design schematics:
Given the house at that time was not even a year old and already having problems with its digestive system (sorry), I held a flint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe it could be a quick fix.
At first, I dug just a bit and uncovered two pipes that were not connected! Whoo Hoo! mystery solved. All I have to do is dig up the one pipe and replace it. I am home free. I thought this pipe was the reason my backyard was a swamp. Thought I could dig it out, replace it, and problem solved.
I know I would fix it licekty -split.
So here is what I dug up at first:
Well little did I know that the pipes were in 10 foot lengths and as a bonus were not even close to being on the correct slope. One might concludethat the morons who installed this either had one leg shorter than the other or were severly retarded. While I applaud hiring the handicapped and giving everyone a job, could it not be the job that ensures my shit flows down hill at a 1% slope?
Once unearthed, it was further revealed that now two pipes needed to be replaced. April 2005-I took vacation and started to dig with visions of fixing the shit system Either that or striking oil:
The project was moving along. Pipes were being replaced a little at a time on weekends and after work. Digging in my backyard is not easy due to the rocks and boulders every few shovel fulls.
I enlisted some help, and got some observers. They thought this was a union gig. Day one: Dad Curin and Sierra went on strike.
A little more than a year later and what is this? A brand spanking new Kubota BX24:
Why? Swampland. So, what went wrong? I neglected the stone, and the landscaping fabric, and some other pipes needed to be changed. My backyard from April 05 through July 2006 was hanging in there until one day, while mowing the lawn, I discovered a puddle near the fence. I as sure as shit (ha ha) was not going to dig that mess up again by hand.
I would have dug it up again.
You again? Go sew something. Anyway, I got a few estimates ranging from 15-17K. It just so happens that this safety orange beauty is 17K. Sure, I would have to dig again, but this time I would have hydraulics and 24 horses on my side. Oh, and an orange bucket. Than at the end of the project, I will have a new septic AND new tractor. Capeche?
The Kubota worked nicely. The rocks are still a pain in the ass, but still better than with a manual shovel. Pretty soon I was back digging rectangles. Only this time, I will dig loooong rectangles because I am silly like that. So in April 2007 I took more vacation time and got back to work.
BONUS PIC!! A special mention from Google Maps!!! I looked my house up one day and could not believe it! There I am on the tractor getting stone from the pile in the driveway and dumping them into the trenches. One might notice a Jeep Liberty in the driveway. Dad had to come up from Long Island to watch Madaghan so I could get some work done. I think Maddie had a fever and could not go to daycare.
I carefully placed the stone over the pipes checking for grading all the time. If the grading is off, the shit runs back into the distribution box and well, I am not digging this a 3rd time. Carefully,the stones fell into place and the landscape fabric was over the top to keep the dirt out. Water goes in, dirt stays out.
Here is what that mess looks like today: