Guidelines (Customs?)for Drinking at O’Shea’s Neighborhood Bar.

Free Beer, Whiskey, Vodka, Rum, Tequila, etc.

Free Beer, Whiskey, Vodka, Rum, Tequila, etc.

  •   When There Will Be Drinking, Do not be afraid to be the First to Drink

Better to be a leader than a follower, and this way you get to set the terms — Scotch rather than Jägerbombs.

  •  Better a Wasted Drink Than a Wasted Drinker

Just because it’s sitting there in front of you is no reason to drink it. If you do not like it, send it back. I will not be offended.

  • Count Your Drinks

Helps you stay in the party a bit longer. If  it’s 10pm and your fast approaching your known limit, have a few glasses of water and some more chicken wings.

 

captain-obvious2

 

 

Did I just read Chicken Wings?

 

Yes. Captain Obvious, you did.

 captain-obvious2You’re bar will have chicken wings?

 

Oh, for the love that is holy. Yes. You really do live up to your name don’t you? Moving on…

 

  • One Drink After 10:00 P.M. Equals Two Before 10:00 P.M.

 It can take time for alcohol to take its effect. You might feel okay for yet another shot. Keep in mind that you probably haven’t felt the effects of the first three shots yet. Slow it down cowboy, you are not in the backseat on prom night.  

  •  Beware the Bottomless Glass of Cabernet

It’s not just cabernet — any big red wine is packed with alcohol and when it flows freely at the dinner table, it’s hard to keep track of how much of it you’re consuming. This will make for a most unpleasant morning.

 

  • If you owe me ten dollars or more, pay me back during happy hour.

 

  • If you owe me ten dollars or less, you don’t. Instead, buy ice or cups or plates or napkins for the next fiesta.

 

  • If a woman buys you a drink, she likes you.

However, at O’Shea’s she is probably already your wife or girlfriend and she is just being nice.

 

Super Husband

 

 

Make sure you say: “Thank-you my beautiful flower”.

 

Thanks for the tip Super-Husband. Now please run along and go write poetry.

 Moving on (again)….

  • Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink. 

If you complain about anything I am serving, bear in mind it is free. Offer constructive criticism instead! I love constructive criticism, helps me improve O’Shea’s Neighborhood Bar. Suggestions are welcome too.

captain-obvious2

 

 

Want some constructive criticism?…You’re fat!

 

<Sigh>…once again…moving on…. 

  • If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, in addition to getting kicked in the balls, you must drink at least two cans of that shit before you start drinking from my tap

 

  • Try one new drink each time you visit O’Shea’s.

If you think your drink is rather exotic (i.e. Moscow Mule), than bring some of the ingredients you think I may not have. Call ahead- I will probably be all for your concoction and energized to try it too.

  • Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

There are exceptions to this guideline. For instance, playing the entire “Dark Side of the Moon” from start to finish is fine. But try to stick to the guideline. There is only so much ABBA one can stomach.

Any guidelines you can think of? Anything I missed? Anything I should remove?  Feel free to leave a response!

Advertisements

8 Comments on “Guidelines (Customs?)for Drinking at O’Shea’s Neighborhood Bar.”

  1. Eugene says:

    * Try one new drink each time you visit O’Shea’s:

    I will be doing this. I almost got a glass on Blue Moon last night, I figured maybe I should try it before having one at O’Shea’s Neighborhood Bar, but I didn’t.

    Like

    • oshea12566 says:

      And by drink I mean mixed drink. The Moscow Mule, the Pegu, The Old Fashioned, Pimm’s Cup, Harvey Wallbanger, Doctor Funk#2, and the list goes on.

      Like

  2. Eugene says:

    haahah ahhhh ok gotcha.

    Like

  3. Jeanmarie says:

    remember the golden rules: beer before liquor, never been sicker. liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.

    Like

  4. Jeanmarie says:

    Ken wants to know, can you make a good apple-tini.

    Like

    • oshea12566 says:

      Apple-tini are for chicks here is how you make a Martini.

      THE MARTINI

      4 parts London dry gin
      1 part dry french vermouth

      Combine ingredients in a pitcher with large ice and stir long and gently until frost appears on the outside. Strain into chilled cocktail glasses and garnish with one or three olives on a pick. With one olive, the pick may be omitted.

      Be aware of the greatest heresy of all, the one that infects otherwise great bars all across the land. Dark are the times, and fear walks among the women and children. No, I do not speak of Vader’s hunting down of all the Jedi. I speak of the Cosmopolitan Martini, or the Appletini, or the Blueberry Mango Martini, or any of a hundred thousand other concoctions, most made with vodka, and all served in a Martini glass.

      The glass a martini is in is actually called a “Cocktail Glass” not the more popular mistake “Martini Glass” ljust like every copy machine is not a “xerox” machine or every hot tub a “Jacuzzi”.

      If she still insists on an Apple-tini here: http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=172611&source=nextopia

      Like

  5. Aunt Cindy says:

    Nice workmanship on the Bar!!! I’m very impressed. It looks GREAT!!! Can’t wait to hang out at the bar & DRINK!!!

    Like


A good bartender always listens....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s