So, I joined Gold’s Gym. My membership lasted 24 hours. Why? Shady used car salesman-eque business practices.
Gold’s is offering one week for free promotion to test out their gym and if you like it, you can start paying. Sounds good right? Wrong.
I went to Gold’s in Middletown, NY on Friday at 4. The place was empty which is exactly what I was looking for. I could do without the grunters and weight droppers and also do without the teenagers and riff raff at the cheaper gyms. Gold’s hit a home run as soon as I walked in the door.
I also chose Gold’s gym because my wife’s company has a corporate-wellness relationship with them where Gold’s offers discounts to employees and their families. While in the rep’s office, I learned that the employee must already belong to Gold’s Gym in order for the discount to extend to their family members. Fine, whatever. However, Gold’s was nice enough to offer me a law-enforcement discount. So, now instead of the corporate discount rate of 27 a month, I will be paying 36 a month. Still sounded good to me, sign me up. And he did. Quickly.
At this point, my new relationship with Gold’s Gym quickly turned sour. See…the 7 days free is not included when you join right away. At NO POINT did the Gold’s Gym representative say to me :” If you join now, I want you to realize that you wave the 7 days free. Why not do the 7 days then sign up?” That would have been excellent customer service and a professional business practice in my opinion. I would have said “Hey thanks man…good idea” and in turn, been even more excited that Gold’s is not only looking out for my health, but my wallet as well. Hell, I would have been excited enough to buy a t shirt and spend even more money. I would have went home and wrote a post about a positive customer service. Sadly, that is not how events unfolded and I writing this one instead.
Maybe that Planet Fitness commercial has a point?:
Drain their wallets bro! You drinkin’ our protein bro?
Could it be the pressure of an empty gym getting to the sales staff? A quick analysis reveals that Gold’s Gym representative did himself and his business a disservice when he refused to honor the 7 day free promotion by refunding me the $8.25. Hell, I would have taken a free t shirt.
How did I arrive at $8.25? Like this: 36 dollars a month is roughly 1.25 a day. 7 Day free trial costs the company a whopping $8.25!
If the Gold’s Gym representative had his business-thinking cap on, he would not have been happy with allowing a minimum $28 sale walk out the door with the potential for A LOT more. Even if I quit after another month, that would have been $64 ($36 +28). Instead he opted to save his company $8, while losing $64 at least. A penny-wise is a dollar foolish as they say. Not very good business sense to me, but what do I know? Perhaps that is why his gym is empty? If I was the manager, I would be concerned with just how many customers are walking out the door disgruntled. Or…like me walking out the door happy and can’t wait to get started but get home and read the paperwork and become disgruntled.
In addition, Gold’s Gym has soiled the relationship with wife’s company and pissed off someone that ha a blog with over 200 visitors a day. I will take every opportunity to inform my friends / family / co-workers / wife’s 240 employees / 200 faithful daily blog readers about the slick- used car salesman-esque sales approach Gold’s Gym successfully tried with me- it was not until I got home did I realize that the promotion was not offered to me because I was over zealous to join an empty gym.
All that potential money…. gone for 8 bucks.
I hope the Gold’s Gym rep never becomes a bartender: “Sorry you already drank your second beer. NO two drink special for you!”
Or becomes a supermarket cashier:
“Wait! I have a coupon for that!”
“Too late!! I already rang you up. So sorry. We can cancel the whole order if you wish”
As I was writing this, Laurie got this email:
Hi Laurie, i just read your email and wanted to apologize for the confusion regarding your husbands membership here at Golds. I extended the free week to him and his next payment will not be until October 27th, and every 27th of the month moving forward. I hope this helps, and if there is anything else i can do, please contact me directly. Have a great weekend.
Middletown NY 10941
No thanks. Apology not accepted. The events never should have unfolded this way to begin with. Plus, I am not going to go workout with the Rep giving me the stink-eye from his office. No thanks. Do shit right from the start. My money is going elsewhere.
—Some people may wonder what the big deal is over 8 dollars. Well, those of you that know us, know that Laurie and I are willing to pay extra for excellent customer service. This is all about the principle and professionalism NOT about the money. If was all about money, I would have been at Planet Fitness.
Clean the lines after every Keg!
This is the story of my 9-11 experience. There is not going to be to many pictures here. I have lots of pictures, but I do not want to put them on the internet because, well, they are mine.
If you are interested in seeing pictures, feel free to come by my bar anytime and I will show them all to you.
I have been meaning to put this down in writing for a while so here it goes:
9:00 am: I was in the shower getting ready for a 12pm to 8pm shift when the phone rang. “Dude, a plane just hit the twin towers.” The towers were located in the 1st precinct and my precinct is darn close. So, I thought..a bit more overtime for me tonight, as I imagined some poor old grizzeled solo pilot suffering a heart attack clipping the roof of one of the towers on his way down into the Hudson. Watching in disbelief with a towel wrapped around me, I hovered in the living room of my East Meadow basement apartment soaking the carpet as I watched the nightmare on TV.
As the towers burned, I thought better call Mom. As a rookie cop, my hours changed so often that no one in my family knew what my schedule was. Hell I did not know what it was. I sat and called mom letting her know I was home and not at work. Next call was to my partner, Rob Friedrich who was already in his car on his way to pick me up. Listening to the nightmare on the TV in the background, I quickly threw on whatever clothes I could find. I ran out the door, up the stairs and out into the street all in one swift move. Remember this is before I became fat.
9:30 am: Waiting for Rob, I called my father and inquired about the status of the LIRR just in case the roads were closed, backed up or just a mess. After talking to my father, I decided trains were not a good option. Rob pulled up and I hopped into his red Mercury Cougar. Driving down the Southern State parkway, I called in and was informed that the muster point was Floyd Bennet Field in Brooklyn. Rob hopped up onto the median and drove as fast as he could. When we got to the Belt Parkway, we discovered the NY State Troopers closed the Belt Parkway. It was now only open to FDNY, NYPD, EMS only. I think we hit 100mph on the now clear parkway. We arrived at Floyd Bennet Field.
2:o0pm: After signing in, we hopped onto a bus and headed to the precinct. Why did we not go straight to the precinct from the start is a question that still bothers me to this day. I was a rookie and did what I was told. Little did I know that the person that told us to go to Floyd Bennet Field was a complete fucking moron. From the precinct we were directed to go to South St and Pike St, Pathmark parking lot. Once there, I saw a large crowd of cops wearing uniform shirts with regular blue jeans. “uh oh” I thought. Everyone was running around gathering supplies. Mostly painter’s masks and flashlights….and gloves.
5:00 pm: I was assigned to a Mobile Patrol Unit with Lt. Donohue, Rebecca Mayo, Greg Rodriguez, Mark Restivo, Stephanie Brinkley, and Rob Ferriolo. Coming down Church St, I got my first glimpse. To me, it looked like we arrived on a movie set. I thought it was all fake. Has to be fake right? This can’t happen. I remember scrambling to help look for survivors. One memory I have is a Lieutenant running around asking if anyone knew morse code.
”Why?” I asked.
” Because we think there are people trapped in the rubble you can see them flashing something!!” he exclaimed.
”What are the odds some financial white collar guy trapped by rubble knows morse code?” I asked him without thinking. If I had thought about it, I would have just shut up. But the words just came out with reckless abandon. Like bullets fired from a gun, they could not be taken back. He looked at me, actually stared at me and just smirked. I think when the haze of adjrenaline cleared his mind, he knew I had a point. Still, they could be random flashes from people trapped. So off we went climbing the razor sharp steel pile. As we got closer, we could see that the flashes of light were just random reflections from plastic streamers hanging. What exactly those streamers were I have no idea, I just know they were not survivors.
8:00pm- we got back into the van and Lt. decided to return to our original function of Mobile Patrol. We made it over to an area where they were sorting body parts. This was my first experience with random body parts. We walked over to the refridgerated trailer and saw a young doctor wearing a white lab coat, green scrubs, dark hair tied into a pony tail and a 3m painters mask on. Standing in the trailer with a clipboard, cops would carry body parts over to her. She would then kneel down, remove the sheet, write something onto the clipboard. Next, she would place a tag on each body part and put them into the appropriate pile. I imagine what her nightmares must be like today. I wonder if she still has the white lab coat and green scrubs.
Ever see a shoulder with nothing else? Just an elbow? Ever see a foot with black high heel shoe still on? I have. I will spare you from anymore. If you can imagine it, I am sure I saw it by this trailer.
04:00 End of tour. Sometime during the night they decided we would work 12 hour tours, face to face reliefs. Our platoon would be working 4pm-4am.
rooftop photo courtesy of Christine Seppa.
After a 12 hour shift on Thursday, I climbed into the Jetta, turn the key and was granted the same reaction as most of my jokes. Nothing. Turn the key, dashlights, radio, and interior lights all go on but when the key is turned: crickets. Dejected and tired, I took the train home. “Poor Jetta, is this the beginning of the end?” I wondered as I rode the rails. In truth, I kind of hoped so. I have been driving that car for the past 8 years and have grown tired of 5 speed in traffic.
Shut up Superhusband. Don’t you have khakis to iron? While you are right that some people drive thier beloved vehicle more than 8 years, I have spent about 3 hours a day, 265,000 miles. Basicly, hours spent inthe Jetta is almost the equivelent of a part time job. Imagine if you got home from work, and as your second job you had to go sit in your car for 2 hours before you had dinner.
So, yeah I had happy thoughts of how this may be the beginning of the end for the Mighty Jetta.
But no. My friend Joey Griffin has to save the day again. For my loyal readers, this is the same Joey that fixed the shock on the Jeep. While fighing the urge to vomit from the smell and sound of some slob eating KFC on the train, I sent Joey a text about what happened. Joey told me he could tow the Jetta on Sunday for 100 bucks, some diesel, and lunch. “DAMMIT!!!” I thought, but texted “Great! Thanks!” Then I got up and moved to the No Slobs Allowed Car. I did not find it. So I wept openly in the aisle and got down on my knees and cried: ” why God!!? Why me?!!” I kid. I did move another car tho.
As of press time, the Mighty Jetta is at Contry’s Automotive getting a new starter.
- Special thanks to James M. Contrys for the truck.
Riding in the truck with the Queen of Cool.
With no daycare, no summer camp and Mommy having to work, that leaves one option: Dad. By sheer dumb luck, I had chosen this week as a vacation pick so no schedule jostling, babysitting finding had to be done.
Day One: ATV Fix and Ride.
Maddie’s ATV needed a new chain or at least a link removed from the current one. With friends like Russ who is an expert on small engine repair, I decided to try and have a link removed. So Maddie and I piled into the truck- ok, climbed nicely into the truck and headed over the mountain to Russ’. He removed the link, gave us a new master link and sent us merrily on our way. I tried to pay Russ and was meant by a swift kick in the balls. I kid. He punched me in the face and I drove home crying like a little girl. When we got home and Madaghan wiped my tears away, I got to the business of putting the chain back on. It worked:
Day Two: Fishing
When we were in North Carolina, Madaghan took a liking to fishing even got her own light green fishing pole with pink string. She was hooked. Get it? Sorry. Anyway, since she liked fishing so much, I thought it would be fun to try our luck at fresh water fishing. Off to the town lake we go:
We had a very good day fishing.
Day Three: Bowling
Before we went bowling, I was treated to Madaghan singing “California Girls” by Katy Perry. Not one lesson:
All 3 of my loyal readers might recall by harsh review of Hoe Bowl. This visit however, was vastly different.
Not only was the place clean, the one friendly guy working was doing his job well. Handing out shoes, cooking hot dogs, clearing lane malfunctions. Well done this time Hoe Bowl.
Day Four and Five. Boring stuff.
The last two days of the week Madaghan and I decided to chill out at the house and go in the pool.
Ok, you caught me Captain Obvious.
Kiss my ass Capn’.
Sadly, the douchbag in the creepy tight orange shirt is right- I decided we were to chill out at the house and ride the ATV, swim in the pool, play Nintendo Wii, etc.
I had a great week with the cherub and can not wait to do it again.